Ask Uncle Fred #31
Some random rants from Uncle Fred. You know what gets my knickers in a twist? Here are a few examples.
1. People spraying sunscreen all over themselves while standing on the court. That stuff can really singe the grass. It won’t show up till the next day. Ask your groundskeeper.
2. Closely related is drinking alcohol on the court. Need I say more? Croquet Rock Star, I’m looking at you.
3. Folks that take a shot, scuff the grass and reflexively tamp it down with their foot. Your opponent has the right to look at the scuff and call over a referee to make a ruling. This is difficult if you have attempted to repair the court. If a referee sees you do it, he may come out and give you a gentle reprimand since this is usually done with no ill intent. You may get an official warning if you do it repeatedly.
4. Folks that make no apparent effort to speed up play when they are holding up another match in a double bank situation. In golf, I used to hit a few balls in their general direction and yell “fore!” but that is apparently frowned upon in croquet.
5. Rabbit runs………..unless I’m the beneficiary.
6. People that create a playlist of music that they are positive everyone will enjoy while playing croquet and then subject everyone to it during Wine and Wickets………..Oh, wait a minute, that’s me.
7. People that don’t make a reservation but show up and just EXPECT that you will share your court. OK, this is not a major crime, it’s more the attitude than anything else.
8. Folks that don’t call faults on themselves, folks that don’t declare themselves offsides, and folks that intentionally let you play a wrong ball.
9. Folks that take the game just a teensy-weensy bit too serious………It’s just croquet 😎
Any other suggestions? Feel free to vent to fheald@comcast.net
Signed,
Uncle Fred
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Ask Uncle Fred #32
Hey Uncle Fred,
I can’t seem to catch a break. Brunhilda and I were playing Lord Clem and Humphrey (or as I like to refer to them, Batman and Robin, as in always “robbing” me of the match, get it?) Anyways, Lord Clem tries a jump shot with red and really gets some air on it! It ricochets off the top of the crossbar and goes straight up. He immediately hops to one side to avoid the ball landing on his head (he can really move for an old guy), but the ball does graze his mallet head on descent. Fault, cry I, it’s a double tap! I beg to differ, says Humphrey, no fault, and we put red back where we think it would have landed, and it’s black to play! I was too flummoxed to even respond to this egregious rules misinterpretation, and naturally, we lost the match. What in the infernal abyss is going on?
Signed,
Croquet Rock Star
Dear Croquet Rock Star,
Yikes! How does this once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing always happen to you? Sad to say, Humphrey is correct. Had the ball bounced off the hoop and hit Clem’s mallet while he was still in the striking position, it would have been a double tap. Rule 11.2.4 When Clem hopped away, and I assume he landed on both feet, he had left his striking position. Faults can only occur while the striker is in the striking period, so no fault was committed. Rule 11.1. In effect, Clem’s mallet hitting the ball a second time would be the same as if he accidentally hit his ball while strolling around the court. Put the ball back where you think it would have ended up without the second contact. Black to play.
Signed,
Uncle Fred
Author’s note: I really had to dig deep for this “never gonna happen” example. It does reinforce the rule that faults can only occur while in the striking period. A STROKE can also only occur while in the striking position 6.3.2 (a), so, the ball hitting his mallet a second time did not constitute him playing a second stroke out of turn.
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